We still can’t skip to the end.

I thought it was about time I posted an update, in many ways a lot has happened since my last post in November, but in other ways nothing has happened at all. 

I can’t quite remember when but I think it was in December, I was feeling unwell, it turn out I had Kidney stones, so I had some further surgery. After a few days I felt normal again.

Christmas was difficult,  but I did get to spend it with Anthony, we opened gifts, did a zoom call with family, and went for a walk in the park over the road.  New Year’s Eve I wrote and hosted a 2020 quiz on zoom with friends and family, it was nice to see in the new year with people, even if it was virtual.  

I continued to have visits from, Anthony, mum, Dad, Linda and some times my niece Lyra,  we would meet in the chapel as we were often left alone.  I also had a visit from some good friends and their two kids, one of which I had not had the pleasure of meeting yet,  he looked so much like his dad, and was climbing up everything.  

Once the new year came in some new hope glimmered, conversations, assessments and decisions were still being made about rehab options, we had to  get NHS England and my local MP involved.  At one point there was hope I might get a placement at a private place with a swimming pool but the funding never came.  I was literally talking with Anthony about setting up a Gofund me page for this place, when the news came of a bed at a rehab ward back at James Cook University Hospital.  

Meanwhile I had been working with the physio’s, on standing and even walking with the aid of an Arjo. The video I posted of me making 50 steps went just a little bit viral on twitter.  It was hard, painful but felt good. I just wanted to do more, but the wait for someone to say yes to a rehab bed was disheartening.   

So I was on the move or was I?  A transport Ambulance  was booked for the Wednesday 27th January,  that gave me time to write out the thank-you cards, and organising getting a small token of my appreciation for all the teams involved.   It was a little emotional saying good bye to all these people that had invested in me.  

As the ambulance arrived, I was waved off with nursing staff clapping as I was  push down the ever familiar ward corridor. Coming down in the lift I reflected on all that this journey had tested me with.  Wondering what the new wards challenges would be. As we approached the ambulance I knew my wheelchair would be too wide for the ramp,  and guess what it was, so it was back to ward six whilst they came up with plan B.  I spend sometime in the dayroom until Ambulance number two arrived. This time I was put on a stretcher, it was uncomfortable, but thankfully the road trip back to Boro didn’t take to long.  I enjoyed seeing the industrial sites again. 

Middlesbrough gets a bad rep,  but it’s a good town, with great people, however I know the towns shopping centres will be struggling even more because of the current pandemic.   Note to self try more to support local business that are doing everything to try and make it though this climate. 

We arrived at the place this whole sager started, 10 months later.  One of the down falls of the transfer here is that they are not allowing visitors at all,  unlike the freeman.  However I was hoping to be busy with rehab during the day, meaning I didn’t miss those pressures visits as much.  Once on the ward I was sleeted in my bed and was introduced to the three other ladies in my bay.  I had the obligatory Covid swob, some food then settled down to watch television on my laptop, hooking up to the Wifi was easy however the only website that would play anything was ITV hub.  This was going to be challenging. 

I’m not sure what time I finally got to sleep,  but about 4.30am I was woken by Ursula my nurse, the swob had tested positive, so I had to be moved to another ward.  To say my heart sank would be an understatement.  This meant even longer in hospital, possibly going back to square one, feeling unwell and ending up in intensive care yet again.  I cried.  

The new ward had four elderly ladies in the bay,  one of which screamed anytime a person touched her,  it safe to say I got little sleep.  But I was feeling well, no symptoms what so ever.  A further swob was done.  They are fairly unpleasant, but a necessary task.  

This test came back negative, so I was moved yet again in to a side room, not back to the rehab ward has I had now been exposed to covid. The new room was small but comfortable,  however it was right next to the nursing station so at shift change it could get pretty noisy.    So thats it I’m here in isolation, waiting to go back to Rehab.  I’m board, have little to do, little options of what to watch, and can’t even get off the ward with a visitor.  2021 is shaping up to be pretty much the same as last year.  

Thanks for reading and please, pray for me or wish me luck, I’ll take anything at this point. 

PS my hair is growing back nicely.

5 thoughts on “We still can’t skip to the end.”

  1. Rachel, thanks for sharing your story. Your tenacity is humbling and your sense of humour is wicked in the very best sense! I’m wishing you on… and praying you’ll get that rehab place very soon Xx

  2. Praying for you Rachel! You have come so far, and although I don’t know you personally I am cheering you on from the side lines! X

  3. Deep breath… it’s another opportunity to blog/reflect/shout/blaspheme!
    Life doesn’t always give a straight road. And the Kawa Model might have some credence.

  4. Hi Rachel,

    I saw your post on, Dr Crees blog. I really don’t know what to say, you have been to hell and back multiple times. I fully appreciate you must have real bad days but deserve so much for writing this blog and telling it how it is.

    I sincerely wish you a strong recovery, I hope you get a significant reduction in pain too, either by physio, meds or both.

    Anyone can be I’ll for a week, it’s not nice but it won’t wear you down, however, suffering constant illness and pain is really tough going. Please take a quiet few minutes to reflect on how strong, determine and brave you are.

    Knee, hip or ankle problems really do throw a spanner in the works when it comes to exercise. Even constant pain can make it hard to enjoy or focus on anything. You have many obstacles in your way but it sounds like you have support.

    My girlfriend is very ill, it will only get worse. Illness can devastate income and life in general for the person who is sick and their carer.

    It seems like you are coping very well under much stress, you are working too, helping others.

    I admire you, your article is inspiring, please keep it up, assuming you want to of course.

    Some of us have been given a raw deal, you have, so it’s great to see you smiling and making the best of it.

    Be very proud of yourself, myself and my girlfriend wish you well.

    Best wishes,

    Peter and Lynn

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